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I just watched the first episode of The Paradise [Sep. 12th, 2014|08:52 pm]
I can't remember anyone's names, so I'm just going to use ones from Are You Being Served.

It's Miss Brahms' first week on the job, and Mrs. Slocomb is totally bossy to her. But the AMAZING part is how hard everyone has to work to make retail sound REALLY SUPER DRAMATIC. The dramatic climax of this episode is . . . A really big sale. The writers tried to spice things up with a not-torrid love affair, a murder mystery, and some extra sexual scandal. I am not a writer, but I think if you need to add ALL THREE of these things to your story, it might be because you're not telling a story. There are seven episodes left. There are a lot of guns over the fireplace.
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I'm irritated today. Let me tell you about it. [Sep. 9th, 2014|09:33 pm]
Causes of irritation in no particular order:

1. Liesl Gibson, what do you think you are playing at? I think it's awesome that you have four new digital patterns for adults, releasing this month. But at the rate of one a week? Are the digital files being hand-drawn by gnomes? Stop dropping hints about your shoot in Barcelona and show some straight-on pictures of the clothes already! I know you have an elite squad of bloggers who got free patterns to test months ago. Let me see the things I'm probably not going to include in my winter wardrobe so I can make some final decisions, please!

2. The Hanna Andersson catalog features this unfortunate baby. It is wearing a knit hat and two snow suits. It's sweetly pink cheeks are a symptom of the heat stroke it's getting from the excessive layers and the studio lights. It's going to have a seizure. It's wrapped in so much packaging it could safely travel by mail.

The total cost of the clothing visible in the photo is $158.
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I like to patronize local businesses [Aug. 15th, 2014|11:58 pm]
I'm looking for a good source of vintage Star Trek novels. Probably used, since used is how they come these days. If anyone knows of one in the Boston area, I would love to hear.

Or, better yet, if anyone knows of two . . .
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The two things I did yesterday [Aug. 6th, 2014|10:32 am]

I made some bagsCollapse )

I watched the Way to EdenCollapse )
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Important Announcement [Aug. 4th, 2014|09:31 am]
Following careful consideration, the committee of me has selected the 2014 Christmas Theme.

It is rocket ships.
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The Fashion Critique [Jul. 31st, 2014|11:37 pm]
Hanna Andersson launched their new women's line today.

It consists entirely of items that look like things I could pull off the rack at Old Navy, but with price tags provided J. Crew.

So I guess they've succeeded in melding two popular things.

Marketing mis-step of the day: Selling a $169 sweater on both your "sweaters and jackets" page and your "sleepwear" page. Kind of gives away the truth that it looks like pajamas.

Other bad ideas: The buffalo check popover blouse.
Put down your beverages before clicking.
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All Our Yesterdays [Jul. 5th, 2014|11:43 pm]

The Enterprise arrives at the planet Sarpeidon to rescue its ENTIRE PLANETARY POPULATION from an impending supernova that is predicted to take place later that afternoon.

First, how were they even going to do that? Were there only 14 people on the planet? Can the transporters move ENTIRE PLANETARY POPULATION numbers of people in under three hours with enough power left in the ship to warp away from an exploding star? Assuming that the transporters can handle this challenge, where were all of those people going to go? The Enterprise has a crew complement of 400. Even if the population of Sarpeidon was only a few thousand people, the Enterprise doesn't have room for them.

The good news is, the people of Sarpeidon didn't wait around to see if anyone was coming. The Federation hadn't previously made contact, because Sarpeidon hadn't developed a warp drive yet, so they didn't even know rescue by outside forces was a possibility. Instead they developed time travel and fled to their planetary past to live out their lives pre-supernova. From Starfleet's perspective, the population of the planet is mysteriously missing.

So, way to go Federation anthropological survey teams, for failing to notice that Sarpeidon had that interesting little chunk of technology that the Federation absolutely does not. And apparently, they've had it for a long time - before it was used for humanitarian purposes, it was used as a punishment for political dissidents.

If the Enterprise encounters time travel, someone must get sucked into the past. In this case, Kirk, Spock, and McCoy. Kirk goes to Ireland/pre-Revolutionary France/the Inquisition, and Spock and McCoy wind up in the Ice Age. The Ice Age has a pretty girl in a super-practical leather bikini. I recognize her from A.C. Crispin's _Yesterday's Son_. She has hot springs, fur blankets, and mammoth meat. Since they've gone back in time 5000 years, Spock regresses to the aggressive emotional state of Vulcans 5000 years ago. This allows him to have feelings about women. McCoy does not regress to a Bronze Age state - that would be ridiculous. Kirk finds his own way home and rescues Spock and McCoy just barely in time for Scotty to beam them aboard and the Enterprise to get out of Dodge.

Also, there is a library that maintains historical records so that people can decide which time period they want to live in and be transported there. My favorite part of this episode is that librarians saved all the people.

My least favorite part of this episode is that Sarpeidon is a planet-sized MacGuffin whose purpose is to get Spock laid.
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The Savage Curtain [Jun. 27th, 2014|07:47 am]

It's been a long time since I posted about a Star Trek episode, and this one is way out of order. Also, completely weird. The Enterprise investigates a boring planet with lots of volcanoes, and is surprised to find Abraham Lincoln. And Surak. And then a species of talking rock makes Kirk, Spock, Surak, and Lincoln fight four fabricated evil dudes from earth's history so they can better understand the merits and drawbacks of good and evil. Given that 6 out of 8 combatants are dreamed up by talking rocks, it's not clear why Kirk and Spock need to be there at all, except to demonstrate their ability to get Lincoln and Surak killed (again). It's like Arena, without the underlying logic.
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(no subject) [May. 4th, 2014|08:14 pm]
My garden has TEN tulips, and a ton of dwarf daffodils. There are more tulips in early stages of blooming. The tulips are all by the front door. They are huge. I've been reading the Search for Spock, which has some plants in it that grow much more quickly than expected, break through rock, and are also unexpectedly psychotropic. The tulips are like that.

The daffodils run along the front of the hedges. Apparently, they are very happy. They fit in small spaces. I thought about cutting some to put in a vase this afternoon, but I don't own any vases short enough.

The crocuses never really took. I planted 24. I saw three. Then they were eaten by passing wildlife. Apparently, crocuses are dodgy. Who knew?

I was expecting a lot more tulips. I planted a lot of them in the bed at the side of the yard, and some of them put out foliage, but the foliage got eaten by squirrels, and they are not to be.

The allegedly low-maintenance strawberries seem unlikely to bear fruit, but I have resolved to neglect them a little longer before I tear them out of the ground and plant something else. In the end, I think their plot is sunny and I will use it for more tulips, of the variety that has been so successful by the front door. I will then try a different allegedly-low-maintenance variety of strawberries in the shady patch where the tulips failed.
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Go! Read! [Apr. 29th, 2014|03:41 pm]
Yet another blog post.
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